Sunday, November 19, 2017

Don't review my books

At the end of each of my books, I include a letter essentially BEGGING people to review my books. I heard this would help get more reviews on Amazon. I have written a letter to the readers from characters in the books, but that hasn't worked either. So now I'm going to try reverse psychology:

Why You Should NOT Review My Book

--You are here and your computer is alllllll the way over there.

--You forgot your Amazon password.

--If you write a review, someone might see it and think you're a loser with nothing better to do than review lame books.

--If you give me a lot of reviews, it might help me sell more books, and then I might get a big head.

--You are too busy playing with your fidget spinner.

--What if someone uses your review as a way to steal your social security number and then steals your identity?  No, too much risk.

--You obviously can't think about doing anything else until you've seen the last season of House of Cards...... wait, Kevin Spacey did WHAT?

--You like the book so much that your glowing review will almost certainly be flagged by Amazon as a fake review and subsequently deleted.  So all your hard work will be for nothing.

Is it working?  Are you not reviewing my book?  Don't do it!  Don't go over to your computer to review my book right now!  No!  Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

  1. Laughed my butt off! I should try that :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unfortunately, it doesn't work. Or it does work, but not as reverse psychology?

      Delete
  2. The reverse psychology has made me want to make an extra long review now, just to juxtapose your efforts!

    ReplyDelete